Thursday, July 26, 2007

My Magical Pussy.

Before I knew the word "codependent" meant "bitches who act like me," I had this theory explaining why I consistently got into relationships with fuck-ups. I pick out very sexy addicts, the best kind of fixer-upper men, because I believe firmly in the power of my magical pussy.

For many years, I have believed that there is some wondrous agent or elixer buried in walls of my hoohah that could make the worst of men act right. Show me the world's biggest fuck-up, and I will be certain that if I just put my magical fuck-down on him, he'd wake up from his madness and be the wonderful man that I know is inside of him. So what if he cheated on his girlfriend a thousand times? She didn't have the magical pussy! So what if he was robbing pharmacies with his fucking mom? All he needed was a dose of my magic vag, and he'd be FIXED! FIXED, I say!

They talk about addicts and their terminal uniqueness (Scout! I'm looking at you!)..."meetings don't work for me" and "I'm not like those people" and "but my life was harder." It's not just the addicts who think they are absolutely, uniquely, completely different...it's their spouses as well. Those of us who are sure that we are endowed of some kind of unique and transformative powers are making ourselves sick with working to fix, fix, fix. My husband is different. I am different from his last girlfriend. Yes, he's an addict, BUT. Yes, but...we're different. I'm magic, and he's handsome, and he's so smart, and I'm so smart, and look at this drawing, and wow! I can write.

God, I hate myself sometimes. Fuck me, and fuck him, and fuck my stupid puss and its ridiculous lies!

Bwah!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh so many comments, but I am not even going there :P

Anonymous said...

Actually something came to mind, your desire to help others, to "fix" people can be used and used well. I think you need to refocus on who you want to help and continue to help those other codependent women.

Once you have a handle on the program and have worked the steps, you can start to sponsor other woman, and show them the way. Of course your magically pussy would have to stick to disappearing tricks, but you will still get the selfless feeling of gratitude by helping others and keeping yourself sane at the same time. If I remember correctly, that's the magic and beauty of the program.

The Discovering Alcoholic said...

Cats, magic, and sex-

I feel like rolling over and smoking a cigarette.

That pic has made me smile all evening, tx TJW.

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

Oh, I love this! I want to take the whole thing and frame it and put it on my bedroom wall!