Learning How To Live
None of us may claim to be independent, if we still depend on others to provide our happiness. We may wait patiently to get what we want, or we may get angry, because others aren't responding the way we think they are suppose to. Many of us behave as if there is some sort of universal guideline for living that is obvious to everyone. When others deviate from these imaginary guidelines, their actions are interpreted as intentionally being spiteful. Not only do we anticipate that others will act predictably, but also that their actions will fulfill our very own needs. Nothing is so self defeating, than to expect others to fulfill our own personal needs. We are doomed to disappointment as others can not do for us, what we are unwilling to attempt on our own.
To achieve or learn are solitary pursuits. At some magical moment in our lives, there needs to be a stark realization that we are responsible for ourselves. Instead of waiting or receiving, we should be actively grasping for our own truths. Learning is an intimate process with ourselves, that no one else can duplicate . Ideas can masquerade under many forms, but we transpose only those that color our imagination. There are no gradations, when it comes to learning about ourselves.
Real learning is a process of absorption. our mental chemistry is altered. No one else can perform this intimate transaction for us. The statement "I can't" should be permanently removed from our vocabulary, because it hinders growth. We can accomplish far more, than we are willing to admit.
A true refection of maturity is our ability to demonstrate effort, accepting the results, accepting our truth. For this growth to occur we must be willing to take a risk. To attempt new behavior, we must be willing to take a chance. There is no guarantee that the outcome will be what we expect. What can be guaranteed is that some learning will occur, therefore growth will then follow. We learn from our mistakes more often than we learn from our successes.
Risk and trust can be viewed as to skating on an ice covered pond. We test the environment, before we select to thrust our entire weight upon the frozen pond, to predict whether or not it can support us. Once we sense that the pond is frozen enough to support us, only then do we freely move about and enjoy our mobility. Like the skater, we have all the benefits of support once we have tested the environment and calculated our risks to be minimal. But if we never took the risk in the first place, we would have never be able to move about freely, learn and grow. Trusting ourselves, accepting our truths, learning how to live is our responsibility and no one else's.
