Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Advice for a "Captive" reader, et al

A daughter's pregnancy should be something joyous ... but due to daughter's history, use and or support of a heroin addicted "boyfriend", it is such a serious concern to me right now... especially since SHE doesn't seem to be taking it seriously at all. A BABY. Due in July.

I started this blog post on April 8 - My daughter was in jail again, 6 months pregnant, for possession of heroin... another stomach punch out of the blue when just the night before everything had seemed so good with her. Anyway, I had meant to ask for recommendations for books to send to her, anything that might get through to her while she was in jail - She's a reader...

Alas, she is also an addict, still, apparently - stories vary from her - she was holding for her "boyfriend" when she got arrested, or they were selling heroin but not using it, or she had heroin so she "wouldn't be in pain"... It's hard to fathom that she really thought that any of these were valid justifications.

It's sad to be a parent whose primary emotion, when learning that pregnant daughter is in jail, is joy... because for that moment I am sure she is not only safe, but that everyone who cares about her feels the same and won't bond her out. It's also sad to be so naive - The "boyfriend's" parents bonded her out a week ago :-(

I had written and gone to visit her, and made it clear I would not bond her out, that I love her and once she was released I would get her to rehab and have a place for her and the baby - That's what she said she wanted - she had said his parents were raising money to bond her out - I told her that if that happened, it was important for her to COME HOME and if she did my offer still stood. She agreed and said she loved me to and wanted to do the right thing for her baby.

Of course, she didn't come home. I am very worried about her lack of comprehension of the seriousness of EVERYTHING.

Gee - Sorry - back to the origins of this post... I would still like reading suggestions, but more importantly, I have one: "Beautiful Boy" by David Sheff... It is written by a parent of an addict, and is raw in it's honesty of what it is to love an addicted child - I would recommend it to anyone who loves an addict, and to addicts themselves.