mine...

Two things out of the gate- I know I'm not JW- and I'm sure it wasn't completely directed to her, and I know you no longer seek the answer to your question. But, having read your post- I seek to answer that question. Perhaps more for myself than you.

What is it that the addict is doing better as a non user- if in fact it doesn't matter if they no longer use or use? For some reason, right now (I actually know the reason but I will save the best to last), that question breaks my heart. It doesn't seem that there is a whole lot he can do better when he is struggling to stay clean. He's a hard on his step daughter, critical. He has a short fuse around the house, mostly for my 'junk' that doesn't work, my crap. It's like he's a live wire seconds from being tripped. But what really breaks my heart is the one thing he does do better is stay alive- or at least, not suicide on the installment plan.

Sobriety may be a difficult process in the first year, but, god, I know that he's not going to die from heroin use, I know his kids will not have to see him on the street, I know his kids can truly be proud of him. He just stays alive better

I know I/us bitch about the hassles of living with a recovering bad ass addict, but I am selfish too. I don't want to know what the worst case scenario is- and your question, for me, made it clear that I am afraid of the worst case scenario in the worst way... and it seems like every where I turn it's there. That vision, that knowledge that I am living with a man in active addiction. And that scares me more than his naked bad ass sober struggling but alive self.

If you, the addict, is straight.... that's one less immediate fear.

Well, that's it for me. That's my hump o' dung, today.

I hope I made sense. Oh, and if you paying attention: The reason- the one where I know why this question has hit home is because (drum foll please), husband/addict had 6 or 7 days in. He was past the worst of, but- he brought a change of clothes with him (that shows some stellar dedication, wouldn't you say?) so that he could roam down town and find some shit with out getting ripped off- so that he could blend (usually wears a uniform) in with the people he said were SHIT yesterday. I know... I know.... I just don't fucking like it.

So, yeah... I am disappointed. Perhaps someone could articulate how one who hold back on having expectations can be disappointed? - Not sure how well my sarcasm read in that, just so you know.