Dealing with his screw-ups
I know I already wrote about debt. But I wrote something in my own blog about how I am the one who does everything. I wrote how I am the one who searches for loans and who pays the bills on time, and putting as much money as possible into each one.
And what does he do? Nothing.
I applied for two loans this week. Our credit card debt is not astronomical - it is probably normal. But to me, it is huge. To us, it is huge. We struggle to pay the minimum payments because the interest rates are massive and the minimum is simply only the interest anyways!
I found out today that we were denied both loans due to "delinquent past or present obligations with others." It infuriates me! That is the EXACT reason we need a loan! So we can pay a reasonable amount at a time, without falling behind in the process! I get so angry, and so frustrated, because he is the reason we are in this mess. And when I call him and tell him we were declined AGAIN he says "That sucks." And "We'll start making payments and when we catch up and our not delinquent, we will reapply."
Well by that time, we might as well keep making payments and building our credit! And that new car I need soon? That will not happen at all.
I am so angry about this because I did nothing to cause this to happen. I worked so hard at maintaining my credit; I prided myself in paying it off. And now I am deep in trouble because I married a crack addict.
I feel like I am the only responsible one and the only one who cares. I am the only one applying for all this crap and trying to do something about it.
"Amy" on my personal blog wrote some very insightful things which I agreed with. He doesn't appreciate it because it's normal.
I have to get back to work, but I guess we will continue to struggle without help because of his past.
4 comments:
I am learning to give up on this. I am trying really hard to take care of my house the way I want it taken care of and to pay the bills, just like I would if he didn't live with me. That's where I keep my biggest pocket of resentment...with the financial stuff. The way I'm able to live with it, when I can, is to remember that I'd have to pay bills by myself anyway, and that he'll help when he can. I also don't give him any money, ever, under any circumstances. I can't afford it, and that's the way it's got to be.
Im right there with you... I've always had a decent amount of $ in the bank always payed my bills on time with money to spare.. i was always comfortable with my money and i know how to manage it.. well from him being away in jail and other programs i was supposrting him. im in dept now.. i have never in my life been turned over to collections..well i once spent 60$ in old navy on shorts for HIM that he promised id get back in a week.. well its been months and i havent seen it and now i owe them $130 for the stupid shorts cuz i didnt have enough money to pay the bill cuz he never gave me the money so now i owe collections.. and thats only one small example so trust me i know how freakin' frustrating it is and how id love to ring his neck for causing allll these problems.. You will get out of it as will i it just takes some time. and i know my main thing is to just not lend him a penny and soon enough i will be all caught up. We CAN do it!!
Sure can tell I'm a x dope fiend. I got into more dept after I got clean when I surfaced into the mainstream. It was like changing seats on the titanic. Another addiction. It took me years to clean up the wreckage of my recovery. Even managed to get above 700 credit rating. I guess it all stems from those underlying causes and conditions we look at when we work the steps.
I'm so sorry for you trying to do the right thing and having to pay for his mistakes .....it's just not fair, but when you are with an ex addict none of the normal rules apply. And dosen't it just make things worse when they have such a cavelier attitude about it, like oh well, what else is new? Damn a bunch of drugs and the havock they cause down the road........I feel sad for you. You try so hard....It will get easier as you go I am sure..
Post a Comment