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This is also posted at my personal blog, but I wanted to post something here with you guys. Why isn't there much going on here lately? Where are all of you?
One thing I learned more than anything else while I was at the World Convention is that I am an addict.
And I learned it in both beautiful, meaningful, and ugly, gut wrenching ways....
In ways that made me cry with gratitude and sob from the depths of my being;
In ways that made me want to break shit and pull my eyeballs out.
If I ever had any doubts (and I didn't really) that I belong in Narcotics Anonymous, they are no longer after the last four days at that convention.
Oh, yes, I belong here -- thank G-d and G-d dammit -- I definitely belong here.
It was a interesting and fabulous trip. I lack words for my experience there. It is one of the coolest things I have ever done in my entire lifetime, to be totally honest. But it wasn't without it's own brand of weirdness. Don't make the mistake of thinking everyone at this convention is actually clean -- and, for some reason unbeknown to me, I have always attracted sick, straight junkys of the male persuasion to my side. Like the proverbial moth to the flame these men, my heroin brothers, are drawn to me and can find me anyfuckingwhere -- even at a world convention of Narcotics Anonymous where there are over 10,000 other women to pick from.....
And they have a way of making it look so good -- so, so lovely; that old fucking lifestyle I left behind some 22 months ago. Ya, they make it look attractive in a poor tortured soul kind of way.
Fuck.
I hate obsessing.
10 comments:
Man, sounds like a great time. I attract the down n dirty junkies myself--LOL--although I married mine!!
So happy you are back, I will be emailing you, probably a lot with all I am going through. You know, we have spoken about this many already!! Thanks for always being there. I love you girl! You still ROCK in my book!!
Nic
"I belong here. Thank G-d and G-d Dammit." I loved this! I'm glad you had a growthful experience. Welcome home.
THE12 STEPS DOWN TO HELL
I imagine 12 Step recovery programs are a slow slide into the jaws of Satan. I was involved with this evil “satanic cult” [AA] for over 30 years but was saved through the power of Jesus Christ. He directed me to a therapist who was into “real” recovery, not the mind destroying, soul destroying, cult, which is AA. I have met two Steppers recently & I imagine they are completely devoid of any emotion or insight. I feel pain because both these men are decent human beings but AA has destroyed their BRAIN STRUCTURE & they have no idea how to relate apart from expounding AA propaganda. I imagine HELL to be a continuous flow of AA meetings without any light at the end of the tunnel because one never recovers'. I beg you people who are in 12 Step programs, to get out before it is too late. How does one recover when one is handing one’s power over to AA (SATAN). The 12 Steps were written out of Wilson’s head, he certainly didn’t get his guidance from the Bible. I imagine he was an agent of Satan & he & Smith’s “cult religion” has filled millions of Steppers with their anti - Christ propaganda.
Step Three of AA is "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him." While many in the Oxford Group placed their faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour, there was much leeway given. Shoemaker, a leader of the Oxford Group, says, "The true meaning of faith is self-surrender to God." He further explains: Surrender to whatever you know about Him, or believe must be the truth about Him. Surrender to Him, if necessary, in total ignorance of Him. Far more important that you touch Him than that you understand Him at first. Put yourself in His hands. Whatever He is, as William James said, He is more ideal than we are. Make the leap. Give yourself to Him. Aside from capitalizing the "H," which Christians do to refer to the God of the Bible, "Him" could refer to any god of one’s own making [BEDPAN]. Can you see what is happening to you, STEPPER? Ask Jesus to take control of your lives, read the Bible & instead of 12 Step groups, go to Church. Burn your BIG BOOK or use it as TOILET PAPER. Can you see the difference: With The 12 Steps, you never recover but with John 3:16 you are guaranteed Eternal Salvation. The “ball is in your court”, STEPPER? Are you in HELL, STEPPER?
Peace Be With You
Micky
I allowed the above comment simply for the entertainment value. At first I wasn't going to publish it, but then decided why should I be the only one to get a good laugh.
"I imagine HELL to be a continuous flow of AA meetings without any light at the end of the tunnel because one never recovers'."
I imagine it more to be like a continuous flow of NA readings -- all six of them over and over and over.
Ha!
I think I am in hell, Mickey. Don't worry about me though -- I really like the heat.
Oh, and don't forget that I'm queer, too. So, ya, I am very firmly entrenched in hell.
LMAO.
I can't wait until you meet my man. It'll happen one day. He's so pretty, and he'll love you. You guys can be sexy together.
Queer! Hell! I love you!
JAA,
LMFAO----oh damn, my side is killing me!! You go!!
wow, that is one fanatical believer! thanks for letting us have a laugh at it ej!!
Being a firm believer in Him, I am overjoyed actually that someone had the balls to call you on your sick programs and introduce you guys to the one true God....
PFFT- HA! Did I have you going, even for one second? Were you thinking, Huh?
Let's pray for the poor soul that judges beyond his ignornorance while we laugh.
Religion is for those who are afraid of hell. Sprirituality is for those that have been there.
AND.... 'god'- IS A STATE OF BEING.
That's it, nothing more, nothing less.
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