Saturday, November 17, 2007

Scared, Confused, Unsure

I have a friend, and it is really a friend, not me saying I am the friend. Anyway, he is using, shooting 6 bags of H a day, and then using coke at night. Well, long story short, he is wanting to be clean. So, he bought suboxon, and is using it himself, no doctor involved. Stupid, yes. I know this. He is in a half way house, and due to that, he can not go to a doctor, or he goes back to prison. That really isn't what is important right now, what is important is that he took his first pill, and went into full blown withdrawal. I called a dear friend of mine who has some knowledge of this stuff, to see what to do next. He did not know. So, I call my friend back, and tell him just wait it out, don't do anything, he says to me "Too late, already took another one." This was freaking hours ago, and now I can not reach him at all. His cell is off, and I am just so scared for him. I don't know what the hell to think, to do, anything. For all I know he is dead. I just don't know. I told him that if he is feeling anything that feels wrong, tell someone and get to the ER. From what little I know about this stuff, I think he is really playing with some serious fire here. Doing this without a doc is dangerous, from what I am reading, it is more dangerous than using. I am so scared for him, and so confused. He was calling me so much early this morning, telling me how he is feeling, waiting to be in hard withdrawal to take the stuff. Now, nothing. All day, since like 3:00, nothing. I am feeling panicky, nervous, scared to death for him. I don't know what I can do, really, there is nothing I can do. Just sit and wait, to see if I hear from him. I just wanted to get some of this out, I can't hold all this inside of me. I am ready to burst from all the shit I have going on in my life, and now this. I am praying he is ok. Anyone know what this shit is about?? Thanks for listening.

5 comments:

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

Your friend is in my thoughts. I don't know anything about anything about drugs, except what I'm learning from blogs -- so, I can't give you any comfort there -- but I am sending good thoughts your way too.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

oops
scoutegrl@aol.com

msb said...

hope your friend gets better. Scouts the best.

My Name Here said...

thank you all. well, still no word from him. not one single word. i am not sure what else i can really do. I cant save him. I know i cant