Who Am I

I am a mother who has raised three sons in which one fell into the pits of hell called the "Drug World". I have enabled, protected, covered up, then detached and learned to let go. Through his battle, I never gave up the hope, that one day he would beat this thing. I had to learn how to love without enabling, listen without judging, care without protecting and to this day, I continue to do all these things with the help of God and my program known as Al-Anon.

It has been an incredible road to self discovery as I learned to use all the tools available to me. It is the reason why I started the website http://childlost.blogspot.com/. It is the reason why I went to Al-Anon. It is the reason why I went back to college for a degree in Behavioral Health & Counseling. It is the reason why I am who I am today, a person whom I actually like.

When my son first started on that road called "Addiction", I did everything in my power to keep it a "Secret" for fear that my family would be viewed by others as being "Less Than".

You see, I had this problem called "Perfection" where I wanted to present to the outside world that my little family was that perfect Norman Rockwell family where everything was good and pure and oh so perfect. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that my family, therefore my world was not so perfect. Imagine my surprise when after years of covering and hiding his addiction, that I discovered there were those out there who did not judge as well as those out there who could not judge enough.

My son is an opiate addict. He started down this road when he was 16 years old with percocet prescribed to him following major back surgery. What I did not know was after his prescription ran out, he started to purchase it out on the street. By the time he was 18 years old, he switched to Oxycontin then while in rehab, he met a cute little petite thing who introduced him to heroin. His life went from bad to worse overnight.

For those of you who know anyone with a heroin addiction, you know what that life entails so I won't go into all the little details just yet. Just know, I have seen my son in and out of detox programs, rehab facilities, intensive outpatient programs and various recovery houses to his present day methadone maintenance.

The last three years have been especially difficult. If you want to read about this journey, you can start at the beginning at my blog http://childlost.blogspot.com/.