This can not be real
I got this letter today. From an old celly of Joe's. He told me that my husband, the one I have waited for all this time, the one I blog about how much I love, and how much he loves me, the one I believe in my heart of hearts to be my soul mate, is writing another woman. He also has this woman put money on his books, and she visits him during the week while I am working.
I am simply devastated. This can not be real. I do not understand this. I can not accept this. My Joe? Why would he do this to me, to our family? How could he do this? What the hell is going on with my life? Why is everything falling apart?
I am simply devastated. This can not be real. I do not understand this. I can not accept this. My Joe? Why would he do this to me, to our family? How could he do this? What the hell is going on with my life? Why is everything falling apart?
I feel like a complete ass. Like this has all been a joke or something, like he is making a fool out of me. What do I do? How do I handle this? How can I stop this awful pain in my heart? I can feel it shattering, just completely shattering, a million pieces. I can't stop this. I can't handle this. I am so lost right now, I just don't know what to do. So, I am reaching out here. The only place I have. The place I know to get some truth, some reality, some grounding. Please, help me. I really need it. I can't handle this one alone.
9 comments:
G-d, Nicole....
I will email you in the a.m. babycakes.
Hang tight.
Love,
Scout
I don't know what to say other than come here and vent every second of it out when you have to. We are a invisible line of defense for you
I'm so, so sorry you're going through so much pain right now, especially when you thought that things were going to be getting better soon. We're all here for you...write it out, and take care of yourself FIRST!
I don't know if you have explored on line resources for the wives of inmates. I googled that phrase and a bunch of links came up that seem to cover a WIDE range of services—some not so helpful seeming to me. But i could not presume to know what you are going through or how to choose your resources for help. Just know that there are people and organizations who can and will help. It is cold comfort but you are not alone.
god i hope its not.. just hang tight and try to find all the details out you can. i hope it turns out ok
I know how much your heart is hurting right now. Feeling betrayed, heartbroken, lied to. All I know is that these are all the actions and behaviors of an addict. If he has done nothing to work on his recovery, then he has been an insane clean addict for 4 years. Just because the drugs are removed doesnt meant that the behaviors magically disappear, it takes work, hard work.
I want to tell you that he has used this woman, for whatever reason, that it has nothing to do with you, his love for you, or his love for his family. I don't know if that is something that you can accept or not, but it's most likely true.
The last thing is you HAVE to look at the motives of his cell mate, I can not tell you how many times I saw similar things happen, because a celly thought that his celly's wife or g/f was hot, and when that's all you talk about all day long, your wife or g/f, people get jealous, and do stupid stuff thinking the have a head start on the poor man left in his cell.
You of all people have a knowing heart. Search it throughly, let the pain and anger go for a minute, and look to your heart for the answer.
This is your man, your husband, the father of your children, this is the man who has waited 4 long years to be in your arms again, don't dismiss him so easily. Let his actions speak louder than his cell mates words, or his own for that matter.
ej, you are a kind wise person.
Hugs to you! My husband is a sex addict, so I've been down the betrayal road, and nothing hurts worse. Ej is right. Whatever is going on, it doesn't say anything about your husband's love for you or his kids. Hang in there.
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