Friday, July 18, 2008

Here I am, on this fine July--not YET sweltering--day, in probably my favorite dress, ever, as best I can recall. My beautiful almost-8-year old son took this of me. I think he's got potential, don't you? We just got back home from dropping off Big brother at band practise, and soon it will be time to fetch him and return him to the church's "teens" summer camp. I SO appreciuate the effort the ppl are putting into the whole thing, even if it is only a couple of days. I guess I haven't quite "arrived" yet, b/c I caught myself thinking ugly thoughts about one of the women there helping to set up a tent last night. It didn't take long at all, for that Little Voice to remind me "At least SHE'S trying to help!" So, I suppose I'll "keep coming back".
There are so many unusual things going on in my little world at the moment, that I don't even know if I want to share much of any of them.I guess the least controversial thing I can tell you about, is that in just about 2 weeks, I'll be on my way south, kids in tow, of course, to visit with a dear friend from H.S. and her family for a couple of days.
OH! And to meet Mr. WOW (ALMOST too good to be true), who will be driving up from Georgia to meet at about the halfway point. I feel more like a giddy school girl, and am more aware of my body's resembling an old school MARM every day... Desperately ignoring the old tapes in my head that want me to be stupid and forget how hard I've been working to be able go it ALONE, relying on NO man to stay afloat. It would certainly be nice to have a partner in anti-crime ;) again, no doubt about it, but I'm really tickled to have gotten to be good friends at this juncture. Sure, him being a cutie-pie doesn't hurt anything, and I am quite sure that God has arranged for us to live around 600 miles apart, for our own good---mine, anyway. I don't know if he has the 'jump-first-look-later, MAYBE' tendencies that I've exhibited in the past, but I have been doing my best to keep in today, and just enjoy the getting to know each other phase.
I've come to rather enjoy not having another adult underfoot, and I'm absolutely going to have the highest...standards (Hm. Not expectations, but what is the word I'm looking for?), EVER. The boys have each spoken to him on the phone, and they can't help but notice that Mom's grinning and happier more than she has been in a looonnnngg time. He's beginning to be a tangible addition here, in some respects. I missed having a friend to talk to on a regular basis. Well, God is in charge. I've reminded him, as we feel our way down this long(-----UPDATE: apparently I mis-measured. Turned out to be very SHORT & darker than I'd realised!!-----) dark hallway, together, that if God's not in charge it will never be anything but bad, and that all he's gotta do is stay on his knees.
I find my heart in that same posture more regularly, now, too.
God, thank you for looking after all the little addicts, and all the ex-addicts, and all the ones who are brave enough to love us. Thank you for letting us hear from You often, when we sit down and get quiet for a little while. And thanks for irritating ladies from church who want to help, when the rest of us can't or won't. Please forgive me for being such a butthead.


LarryG said...

interesting post, i am trying to work out with a friend our own little melodrama of "paradise lost" - we are both a bit unsure of letting another adult into our "space" - her more than me i think... anyhow, it's not an easy thing, but i think it comes down to this... "are we truly willing to give in and serve one another" if so there are possibles... maybe that sounds a bit like high idealism in itself... but really, what does it require???

Disturbed Stranger said...

Amazing blog!
Sincere words... and great shot! He's got potential ;)

abbie said...

Good point. Thanks for giving me something to think about. :)

Gledwood said...

I wish I was driving up from Georgia one day...

hey I know someone who's been to Georgia but not the American one the former USSR one

she got invitations to tea with the first lady and everything

and being as it was MY CERTAIN FRIEND she left a trail of havock behind her and Georgia has only just begun to recover!!

Gledwood said...

... and about addicts... do you know it took me more than 5 years of (admittedly intermittent) NA attendance to realize that the minute's silence for the "still suffering addicts" meant for ME.

HappyStill said...

Thank you for your comment. Your blog is magnificent! I certainly relate to this post!