Thursday, December 20, 2007

Sweet Relief

I haven't really talked about it on this site but I've had to endure watching my brother in active Oxycontin addiction. Because of everything I've been through with my own Oxycontin addiction it has been really tough for me.

Back in early November I actually took the age old advice of accepting the things I cannot change pertaining to this situation. I had to be really honest with myself about this.

Accepting a situation doesn't take the fear out of it. I was constantly fearing the worst. I was afraid that it would take an accidental overdose or incarceration to make my brother change his ways.

Yesterday I got some bittersweet news. My brother has finally reached that point that most addicts come to...the bottom. He has finally had that click in his brain that let him realize the severity of his situation.

Like I said this is bittersweet for me. I'm so relieved that finally he is taking a step in the right direction and at the same time I have a lot of sadness connected to this situation.

This comes from me knowing exactly what he will have to face in his very early recovery. It also comes from the fact that my mother and father need to face the realization that two of their children have addiction problems. Just as any parent would, they are asking themselves why. They are wondering what they did wrong, how they could let this happen.

There are no answers to those questions. They are great parents...it's just the way it worked out.

I'm hoping that just as I had to accept this situation as one of those things you just cannot change, they will be able to do the same.

Thanks so much for listening, I just needed to share.

3 comments:

Barb@TimeIsShort said...

Addictions a tricky bitch, isn't it? Yes, quite often, we have to feel the flames of hell burning our buns till we see that we have to make a change. No one can get us there, no one can make it happen for us, except to call it like it is and have some understanding but tough love. It took me going to prison for 3 1/2 yrs. to break the habit. But I then began the study and it is a study, if we are to be successful, the study of me and my addiction.

I wish you the best, as well, your brother. One minute at a time...

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

Best to you and your brother. I'm glad to hear he's in recovery, although I know it will be hard for all of you.

Sapphire Eagle © said...

Some inspired and sadly provocative thoughts in the honesty that you inspire.