Having Fun
I am really fortunate in that this year has been great for me. I entered into rehab on January 26th and here it is October 29th and I feel that I'm doing really well.
So well in fact that I've noticed myself doing something that I never would have thought possible last year at this time...having fun without drugs.
Saturday night I went to a Halloween costume party. I dressed up as Miss Piggy...pretty awesome costume in my opinion. You can give me your opinion as I posted a picture of myself in costume on my site. Check out my Miss Piggy get up.
Last year at this time I was becoming very hopeless in life. I had begun to believe that I got myself into a situation that there was no getting out of. I used to sit and hope that a tree would fall on my house crushing me in my bed or that I would get a horrible terminal disease.
I didn't realize that all I needed to do was ask for help. I'm glad I finally figured that out. Now I'm hopeful in life again. I enjoy the small stuff in life that puts a smile on my face. Sadly it was the small stuff that I was missing out on when I was actively addicted because I was almost oblivious to anything other than wanting and needing drugs.
So it is with great pleasure that I dressed up this year for Halloween. I'm having fun again, I don't know how I lived without it in the past.
5 comments:
The costume is great--you looked awesome!
You brought me back to the time(s)when I was so hopeless and full of fear. I thought I would never, never lose the life of obsessing over and chasing dope. I used to shoot dope every day hoping it would be enough to FINALLY o.d. and be done with the nightmare.
Learning how to have fun clean has not been an easy thing for me really. I have a tendency to think everything is lame or boring. Even at 2 years clean, I still struggle with this a lot of the time. If I am not doing something that is NA or NA related, I am not sure what to dow ith myself for "fun."
It's a good topic.....
You are doing well and you look great!
Peace,
Scout
I know that for myself, it all started with a laughing fit. One of those bouts of laughter that make your eyes water, you can't breath, and you wouldn't be able to stop if your life depended on it
Once I realized that I could laugh and feel like that sober...the rest came easier.
Laughing isn't the hard part. It's activity that's the hard part for me.
Believe me -- I can laugh.
Kudos to you for finding the joy of Halloween! And I can relate to the feeling that all how and joyous feelings were lost. It was this very brief but very powerful feeling of inexplicable joy that I experienced just after I decided to stop using for a while that led me to a place of wanting to quit from a place of needing to quit.
Still, I am not at a place of dressing in costume! You are very brave, Miss Piggy!
one of the best parts of recovery is not having to think and feel things about myself that i had felt on and off for years while i was using. and fun takes on a new face, but didn't it need one anyway?
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